Constants and change.

I don’t think that I could have foreseen where I would’ve ended up this time last year. I was so focused on making sure I was able to secure a job so that I could be able to start my journey to financial stability. The year that had gone before told me I should learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable but it was a difficult thing to do. I was worried I would end up repeating what happened to me 10 years ago, going to interview after interview trying my best (not knowing what that even was) and end up getting rejected. Things were certainly different this time around. I ended up working two part-time jobs. My siblings also ended up getting full-time work. The adulting had suddenly become real. However, I felt as though I was playing catch up. I saw friends buying homes to call theirs, others get married, and then looked at where I was — an over $70k HECS/FEE-HELP debt brewing away with very little savings. Of course I couldn’t help but feel as though I was lagging behind. I know that everyone is on their own journey but when you get to my age which will soon enter the ‘3x’s (the Korean age thing has already prepared me for what’s to come), you can’t help but think, “Why aren’t I there now? (points to a currently distant goal)”

2021 ended up being just as challenging to navigate as the year prior. Having left the regular routine of uni, it meant having to engage with managers, bosses, and clients across both my jobs. It really wasn’t easy. There were some days that I felt as though I was dead weight. Other days I felt stretched and burnt out. I couldn’t really understand why this was the case early on but I figured out that while I could apply my knowledge, I wasn’t seeing the results come through. As the year dragged on and with brief periods of having to stay at home under lockdown, 2021 took its toll. Little did I know what happy moments would come my way. I found that I was soon seeing the payoff in one of my workplaces. I was able to see the effects of my input shine through in the outcomes. I finally knew where I wanted to be in 2022.

This year also brought with it some true surprises. I was surprised at my journey in being my version of ‘fit’. I was surprised at how love, trust, and honest communication can continue to hold a relationship together, despite everything that has been thrown at it. I am still amazed at how people can change, and how they can stay the same. What do I hope will come in 2022? Given it’s the beginning of the ‘3x’ years for me, I hope that I continue to find joy in the work that I do. I hope that I’m able to stay surprised, enthusiastic, and curious. I hope that I’m able to find out whatever it is I want from a partner, and maybe get a partner to call my own. Will I be ready for it? As ready as I can ever be. And no matter what happens, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Much love and keep safe,

Josh

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Josh | abangpinoy

Josh | abangpinoy

Binger of Netflix, podcaster, and constantly unpacking culture.